Chattin

My life has been an unusual journey and I have tried to learn through every aspect of it to give me some sense of direction as to what my purpose in life would be. Every child asks themselves over and over again -- What do I want to be when I grow up? And the list starts being compiled -- a doctor, lawyer, teacher, professional athlete, etc. My list however was diverse and it included; a meteorologist, a teacher, a CSI agent (clearly I watched too much TV as a kid) and lastly a police officer.

All through college and the years following, I worked in the corporate world and was promoted into many different positions, but at the end of the day I was not fulfilled. I spent a good many years working in human resources and employee relations because my true passion was people. Counseling and developing people at work got me through each stress filled year. The stress of the corporate world took its toll on me physically with what seemed like one tremendous migraine headache after another. Then one day in my office during one particularly stressful day I recall feeling dizzy, I lost feeling in my body, and the next thing I remember was I woke up in the emergency room. I knew then that something had to change…

I needed something and I gathered the courage to change everything. I literally hit ‘control-alt-delete’ and rebooted myself. I knew that just like a poorly running computer, I needed better programming. I knew that my past would not equal my future and I started to take charge of my life. I needed the best tools and carefully developed a plan on where I wanted to be and what I needed to do to get there. I hired a results oriented life coach, started using the best self-developmental tools, reclaimed my physical self, put my nose to the grind stone and forged full steam ahead.

Today, I am stronger, wiser, and a different person. I would never go back and change things even if I had the opportunity to do so. It took me a long time to understand why I went through this journey. Then one day it came to me…. I went through this journey to help and support others. I never knew what I wanted to do when I grew up but there it was sitting right in front of me, clear as day - a life coach that specializes in real life!

Any woman who has dealt with infertility knows that coping shows up in many different emotions -- laughing, crying, feeling hopeful to depressed -- all in a matter of an hour sometimes even less. The thing is only if you are the woman going thru infertility do you know how this feels -- the rollercoaster ride which you have no control over -- doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, blood work, shots, and of course the emotions that come along with this.

One of the only things that a woman has control of is what she wants to talk about or not. You see everyone wants to be supportive -- spouses, parents, friends, and that is great but ‘note to self people’. Don’t say a word until she brings it up or in some cases chooses not to bring it up at all. Asking how is everything going when she is being poked, prodded and feels like an overstuffed sausage because of all the bloating from medications --- probably not a wise thing to do. Take the lead from her and trust me everyone will be in much better place!

And one last thing -- think before you speak -- saying stupid things like you will get pregnant in time or you need to relax to a woman dealing with infertility will lead to an explosion that you will not be ready to deal with! I call these statements stupid because if you took a moment to think about it telling a woman she will get pregnant in time-- hello she is seeing an infertility specialist for a reason! And then the best one telling a woman to relax -- how can a woman really relax going through all these things? One answer to that question - she can't relax -- just be there for her, think before you speak and chocolate always brings a smile!

Anyone dealing with infertility knows what true commitment it is - the emotional and physical toll it takes on your body, your mind, the doctor’s visits, and the financial burden. And as if dealing with infertility wasn’t hard enough now add work and this becomes a dangerous combination to those who cross your path.

Most people work because they have to not because they want to. Who goes to work because they love their job, enjoy getting bossed around, and then at the end of the week they are thrilled when they see their measly paycheck? Chances are your paycheck is going towards those uncovered infertility treatments and unless you are independently wealthy, work is a necessary evil.

Time for you to check-in with yourself and evaluate your goals and objectives. Are you really achieving your goals or even some of them? Are you becoming a better person, spouse, partner, or friend? Remember that consistently asking yourself questions is the best way to get the right answers! Here are ten important questions to ask during your self-evaluation.

1. What have been some of your biggest accomplishments in the past year?

2. Are making more money or making less money?

3. Does the relationship with your partner have the passion and joy you desire?

4. Have you met your fitness goals, or done little to nothing fitness wise?

5. Are you eating healthier? Think what you've eaten in last 48 hours-Does that represent the past year?

6. Have you given back to your community in any way?

7. Have you paid down some debt or gone deeper into debt?

8. Have you achieved your important goals and objectives, or are you lost?

9. Have you improved your overall life quality for yourself and your loved ones?

10. When you look in the mirror and think about all you have done this year, do you say "Yes" or "No"?

Your current mindset will determine your next steps and a positive attitude helps along the way. As you evaluate always remember that the past does not equal the future and you must be determined to adjust your thought process in this way.

There is still time to make an impact in your life and close out the year on a very positive note. Let's go back to the previous ten questions and create a quick year-end closeout strategy for your life!

1. Maybe your accomplishments were not big, but everyone has small little wins along the way. Think of those little wins in a different light and learn from them.

2. If you are one of the millions of people unemployed in the country it's hard to look at this question without some level of disgust. This is where you clearly say to yourself that the past does not equal the future!

3. Passion and desire starts with you being present in your relationship. You can be together with your partner and not be present as you are listening, talking, and simply communication. Start today by being present and communicating with your partner-see what happens.

4. Fitness goals are often set at such a high level that when you are not perfect you feel like a failure. Get moving, stop sitting, walk, run, jump and do something physical today. Even some physical exercise releases those endorphins to pick up your mood.

5. If the last 48 hours of food consumption scares you, then compound it over the past year. Starting a diet headed into holiday is many times doomed for failure. Monitor your food intake and think conscientiously about eating healthier. Combined with your physical exercise will keep you focused to start the new year at the next level of a healthier you!

6. Giving back can be most rewarding as the holidays approach. If you have the means, try to give back to your community by making a donation or contributing your time. Many families cannot enjoy the holidays due to poverty, illness, or even being the victim to one of the many natural disasters over the past year.

7. Paying down debt and saving money comes down to focus and discipline. Create a detailed monthly budget as to what money comes in and what money goes out. Scrutinize the detail and look for opportunity to save and begin the New Year on the right foot. Your discipline will be tested when holiday gift-giving time comes. Stay focused!

8. Make sure that your goals and objectives are achievable in the given time. But always remember that you cannot significantly change your life with taking some type of massive action towards that change. Have you done that or are you status quo? If you've continued to make the same mistakes during the past year, positive change is unlikely.

9. Improving the quality of your life is directly proportional to you and your loved ones level of happiness. Buying a yacht does not improve your quality of life if you and your loved ones continue to be unhappy. Happiness is a positive state of well-being and contentment. Does money determine your level of happiness?? If you answered yes then you should re-evaluate your priorities!!

10. When you look in the mirror you have to like what you see. See through the physical image in the glass and look deep into your inner self. YOU have to like and nurture your inner self to make things happen. Ever wonder why when you are boarding an airplane and the flight attendant says that if the cabin depressurizes and the oxygen mask drops, you must put the mask on yourself first before you assist a loved one. Take time to care for and nurture your inner self, then you will be able to say YES to that image you see in the mirror.

The Quirky Chef

Dinner for One

M.K. McBriarty

        Most of my married friends are amazed to see a single women cooking for herself. Perhaps there is a misconception somewhere that food cannot taste very good if eaten by a single person. This is far from the truth. Working over the years as a cook, I have come home many-a-night exhausted and truly hungry.

Being one that loves good home meals, a freezer full of TV dinners is not going to do it for me.  Anyone can follow these simple suggestions whether they are married, single, or have a family. I just think people tend to regard the “singles” population as a group of “non-cookers,” and we seldom find anything written on this subject matter.

I have come up with my very own set of rules that perhaps you can incorporate into your daily meals, so that you, too, can have a successful “single” dining experience.   

          Rule # 1: Location, location, location. All of my meals are eaten in front of the television set. I really don’t like sitting down at my dining room table unless I have guests over. So, be that as it may, all of my meals are served in a single cup or bowl. This allows me to make use of the remote control with the hand that is not holding the food. Since there is one no to tell me how annoying my rapid channel changing is, I can do it in between bites if I chose to do so. This leads to my next rule.

The Quirky Chef

 By M.K McBriarty

The Bear Who Ate My Food

           I  will let you in on a little secret: when cooks get together, they do not talk about the amazing dishes that they could whip up in a matter of seconds, nor do we waste time exchanging favorite recipes with each other. Trust me; I have spent many-a-night over drinks trying to get a really good tempura recipe from my good friend Mike. It has not happened yet.  Instead, what we rather brag about is some of the famous people we have cooked for over the years and how many meals we are able to “bang out” on a single Friday night. 

Oh, but you see, I have a story that even tops how a former “Saturday Night Live” star once came right into the restaurant kitchen to thank the chef for a great meal, then returned the very next night with his director. 

I begin by saying, “There was a bear in my kitchen.” Once I realize everyone is listening, I continue.  “It was summer. I was a Head Cook a Girls’ summer camp. The kitchen, although quite modern, was out in the woods. When I arrived this particular morning, I noticed sugar all over the kitchen floor, the garbage can was on its side, and it appeared that the plastic bag had been ripped into.

Garth spent an entire day filming me in the kitchen. Soon, you will be able to learn how to make great food in your own home! Simple yet fun foods that you will make for a very, very long time!

The Quirky Chef

By M.K. McBriarty

My Time at John’s Meat Market

Every so often in my quest for great food, I will come across a restaurant, an event, or even a food shop that is so special that, despite the high gas prices, I don’t mind driving an hour to get there. John’s Meat Market in Scotch Plains is one of those places.

When you enter the small shop, you will see large photos of John’s family at various ages the throughout years and newspaper clippings that reassure you that you are a part of something bigger then just the daily sale of really good meats. The owner’s father, John, started it in 1939 when he was just twenty-one years old.

My first introduction to this tiny yet old-world meat shop was when I was filling in as a Culinary Arts teacher. It was up to me to teach a class of high school students on the fundamentals of meat. There was only one small problem: I was a classically trained pastry cook who knew very little about meat. But I was not going to let my students in on that tiny little secret. After all, don’t they say that a good teacher is always willing to learn?

During my down time in school and at home with textbook in hand, I did my very best to learn the basics of how to cook, cut and prepare all kinds of meats. Unfortunately, this only sparked a burning fire in me to know more about what appeared to be a fascinating subject matter. It seemed like a natural move; I mean after all, my grandfather was a meat inspector who taught my father his trade of cutting meat, who then met my mother in a butcher shop called “Meat City” while they were teenagers.

Whoever said, “You can’t go home,” should have added, “To cook.”  Don’t get me wrong, my parents are thrilled to have me come down for my weekly visit, but when it comes to rolling out the welcome mat into the kitchen…well that is a whole different story.

           For most of my adult life, I have made my living in upscale professional kitchens as a cook or pastry chef, and, as luck would have it, I happened to pick up a trick or two about REALLY GOOD FOOD. So being the thoughtful daughter that I am, isn’t it only natural that I would want to share my gourmet culinary expertise with those who gave me life, my parents, by making them dinner?

No, not quite.

Let me explain one thing. My father used to be a cook a long time ago, while my mother grew up in the restaurant business and never really liked to cook. Dinner to her is simply something to get over with.  It must have been a complete shock to my folks when, at a very young age, I announced that I wanted to be a cook when I grew up. It must have been even more astounding that I taught others how to cook. So, it should come as no surprise that I enjoy spending hours, even days, preparing a meal.  As a matter of fact, I will even travel miles away from the large grocery store to small specialty shops for gourmet ingredients, most of which my parents are totally unfamiliar.

Clearly, I must have been switched at birth.

Please do not get the wrong idea! My mother is a remarkable women who has taught me throughout her life me to be independent and fearless, but when it comes to food, we are two very different people.

Take something as simple as homemade salad dressings.

MOM: a dollop of mayonnaise into the salad.

ME: three parts oil to one part vinegar and a handful of fresh of fresh herbs, salt and pepper carefully whisked together hours before dinner.

It’s not that I am ungrateful; some of the most important lessons about food were taught to me in my parents’ small suburban kitchen. This is the place where I developed my knack of resourcefulness by taking whatever ingredients I could find in the cupboard and refrigerator to create meals that at times surprised my finicky father.

As a child, I spent hours reading my mother’s old cookbooks to uncover the many possibilities of food (this was long before the Food Network).  What better way to learn the mystery of fractions then to be at my mother’s side while she was baking Irish Soda Bread?

            So, after a brief discussion about me using my parent’s kitchen that usually begins with my mother saying “…and you ARE going to clean up your mess, I worked all day and I am NOT going to clean up after you,” I nod my head, because I have heard her say it a million times. 

I go to work under a cloud of secrecy, not letting my parents know of the meal I am going to prepare. Still, after all that, I managed to whip up a fabulous dinner that looks and smells wonderful to everyone while doing my very best to keep the kitchen clean.

Then the most important thing happens — we are all at the same dinner table, just as we did so many times when I was growing up — and we are all sharing events that took place in our lives, just as I did growing up. So, maybe that is the reason I come home week after week. It’s not only to show off my culinary skills, but simply to be with my family. Yes, you can come home.

WASHINGTON — Hundreds of thousands of people evacuated buildings across the East Coast on Tuesday after a moderate earthquake in Virginia that was also felt as far south as Chapel Hill, N.C. No tsunami warning was issued, but air and train traffic was disrupted across the East Coast.

Parts of the Pentagon, White House and Capitol were among the areas evacuated.

At the Pentagon in northern Virginia, a low rumbling built and built to the point that the building was shaking. People ran into the corridors of the government's biggest building and as the shaking continued there were shouts of "Evacuate! Evacuate!"The quake even broke a water main inside the Pentagon, flooding parts of two floors, NBC reported.

Centered some 90 miles south of the nation's capital, the quake was a magnitude 5.9, the U.S. Geological Survey said.

Two nuclear reactors near the epicenter were taken offline as a precaution, officials said. No damage was reported at either.

At the U.S. Capitol, light fixtures swung and the building shook for about 15 seconds while the tremor hit, NBC News reported.

At Reagan National Airport outside Washington, ceiling tiles fell during a few seconds of shaking. All flights were briefly put on hold and one terminal was evacuated due to a gas smell.

In New York City, NBC reported debris fell from the attorney general's office, causing a brief panic as people ran from the area.

Airport towers and government buildings in New York, including City Hall, were evacuated. The 26-story federal courthouse in lower Manhattan began swaying and hundreds of people were seen leaving the building.

A mild tremor was even felt by NBC reporters with President Barack Obama during his vacation on Martha's Vineyard, an island off Massachusetts.

In Charleston, W.Va., hundreds of workers left the state Capitol building and employees at other downtown office buildings were asked to leave temporarily."The whole building shook," said Jennifer Bundy, a spokeswoman for the state Supreme Court. "You could feel two different shakes. Everybody just kind of came out on their own."In Ohio, where office buildings swayed in Columbus and Cincinnati and the press box at the Cleveland Indians' Progressive Field shook. At least one building near the Statehouse was evacuated in downtown Columbus.In downtown Baltimore, Md., the quake sent office workers into the streets, where lamp posts swayed slightly as they called family and friends to check in.

The earthquake’s epicenter was near Louisa, Va., the USGS reported. It was a very shallow quake, less than a mile deep, which would explain why it was so widely felt.

The D.C. area's previous record for an earthquake was on July 16, 2010, when a 3.6 magnitude quake was felt.

The East Coast gets earthquakes, but usually smaller ones than the West Coast and is less prepared for shaking.

The Associated Press and Reuters contributed to this report.

Source: MSNBC.com