Chattin

My life has been an unusual journey and I have tried to learn through every aspect of it to give me some sense of direction as to what my purpose in life would be. Every child asks themselves over and over again -- What do I want to be when I grow up? And the list starts being compiled -- a doctor, lawyer, teacher, professional athlete, etc. My list however was diverse and it included; a meteorologist, a teacher, a CSI agent (clearly I watched too much TV as a kid) and lastly a police officer.

All through college and the years following, I worked in the corporate world and was promoted into many different positions, but at the end of the day I was not fulfilled. I spent a good many years working in human resources and employee relations because my true passion was people. Counseling and developing people at work got me through each stress filled year. The stress of the corporate world took its toll on me physically with what seemed like one tremendous migraine headache after another. Then one day in my office during one particularly stressful day I recall feeling dizzy, I lost feeling in my body, and the next thing I remember was I woke up in the emergency room. I knew then that something had to change…

I needed something and I gathered the courage to change everything. I literally hit ‘control-alt-delete’ and rebooted myself. I knew that just like a poorly running computer, I needed better programming. I knew that my past would not equal my future and I started to take charge of my life. I needed the best tools and carefully developed a plan on where I wanted to be and what I needed to do to get there. I hired a results oriented life coach, started using the best self-developmental tools, reclaimed my physical self, put my nose to the grind stone and forged full steam ahead.

Today, I am stronger, wiser, and a different person. I would never go back and change things even if I had the opportunity to do so. It took me a long time to understand why I went through this journey. Then one day it came to me…. I went through this journey to help and support others. I never knew what I wanted to do when I grew up but there it was sitting right in front of me, clear as day - a life coach that specializes in real life!

Any woman who has dealt with infertility knows that coping shows up in many different emotions -- laughing, crying, feeling hopeful to depressed -- all in a matter of an hour sometimes even less. The thing is only if you are the woman going thru infertility do you know how this feels -- the rollercoaster ride which you have no control over -- doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, blood work, shots, and of course the emotions that come along with this.

One of the only things that a woman has control of is what she wants to talk about or not. You see everyone wants to be supportive -- spouses, parents, friends, and that is great but ‘note to self people’. Don’t say a word until she brings it up or in some cases chooses not to bring it up at all. Asking how is everything going when she is being poked, prodded and feels like an overstuffed sausage because of all the bloating from medications --- probably not a wise thing to do. Take the lead from her and trust me everyone will be in much better place!

And one last thing -- think before you speak -- saying stupid things like you will get pregnant in time or you need to relax to a woman dealing with infertility will lead to an explosion that you will not be ready to deal with! I call these statements stupid because if you took a moment to think about it telling a woman she will get pregnant in time-- hello she is seeing an infertility specialist for a reason! And then the best one telling a woman to relax -- how can a woman really relax going through all these things? One answer to that question - she can't relax -- just be there for her, think before you speak and chocolate always brings a smile!

Anyone dealing with infertility knows what true commitment it is - the emotional and physical toll it takes on your body, your mind, the doctor’s visits, and the financial burden. And as if dealing with infertility wasn’t hard enough now add work and this becomes a dangerous combination to those who cross your path.

Most people work because they have to not because they want to. Who goes to work because they love their job, enjoy getting bossed around, and then at the end of the week they are thrilled when they see their measly paycheck? Chances are your paycheck is going towards those uncovered infertility treatments and unless you are independently wealthy, work is a necessary evil.